Good Morning, Deluxe

ahh!

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 22:42:43 GMT

D****: Quick, come here! [holds door open]
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Huge semi truck makes wide left onto our street, with 15ft high puppy and kitty faces on the side. 2 blonde labs and 2 tabby kittens, posing for some pet store.]

D****: Isn't that amazing! OMG!
Me: Are you making fun of me?
D****: No, that's awesome, right?... Ok, I'm out. [flips off team room]

officially a classic?

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:57:55 GMT

Good Morning, Deluxe
Hi do you guys carry... Herbal Viagra of any sort?
No, we make skateboards
Ohhh, hahah! Looks like I REALLY got the wrong number!

No actually it's only 40" wide...
So what you just add the extra 4 inches in there just to spite me? Pfft!

Tue, 31 Oct 2006 23:14:46 GMT

Are you like, OMG dude, dressed up as Tommy Guerrerro for halloween? haha
No I'm dressed as burnt toast, can't you tell?

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 15:39:01 GMT

Good Morning, Deluxe
Good morning. Can I talk to that... alcoholic... son of a bitch... Mr. *** **** ?

ACTUAL SECURITY PATROL FORM

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 15:19:25 GMT

our last incident report was regarding new graffiti on the building... but check out just how many things can possibly go wrong between 5pm and 8am!

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 19:16:38 GMT

can you make it say "fuck antihero?" or wait... no dude like, "... and all i got was this fucken [...?]" what? dude, water has a lighter consistency than cum...

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 19:45:03 GMT

how long can you stand on your hind legs? come on, how long? aww...

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 23:56:11 GMT

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 23:04:33 GMT

so she sucker punched me and this dude that came up it was like her brother so i had them both and like double punched them... no no no this is what happened --wait, *****s listening--so we're in the bar and shes like hey can you watch my purse and im like hey i dont watch purses and shes like UH KJHDKSFH KJHFUEKJFNJNDKJ SH FKJNS DKFN and im like get your *** ass to the bar buy me a drink and ill watch your purse and she starts crying.... then this dude, i thought he was her boyfriend... [said some shit] and i was like dude just fuck off... then a cop drives by and then she comes in and starts slapping me... then i started talking to some cops, all hey whats up because my lawyers are super fucking rad... and another set of cops come up and shes like glaring at me all "that's him..." and... after all that shit they dropped it....
[down the hall] bombom ba BUHM BUHM bombom ba BUHM BUHMMMM bomba ba BAAAHHHHMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 22:19:12 GMT

*singing* he knows when you are sleeping
he knows when you're awake
he knows when you've been touching his wacom pen...

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 22:16:30 GMT

*pretending to talk on the phone* What's that? I can't get a giant fan? Oh... well... Because I promised everyone I'd get the fog out of San Francisco... *hangs up* ... Is that just a dance party or is the Cure actually playing?
It's a Cure tribute, yo.
What time is it?... This game is like, for babies... Lookit... this shit just looks great. Like what the hell?
... UURMF!
That's like the worst fucken expression ever. Dude should just...
*walking by whistling*

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 20:59:16 GMT

I moved away from Guam, I don't drink shit out of bags anymore.... *eeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaap!*

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 17:02:29 GMT

What the fuck kind of mail is this? How do people get my name?
Look in ***'s mail!
I predict there's nothing in here.... "Ads are reflecting the gritty reality of [????]
*Schwarzenegger voice*
Don't be left standing in your slippers at the nightclub [???] you will know what is hot for 2007 before anyone else..."
IT'S NOT A TUMOR!!!

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 16:54:31 GMT

Are you ridin' dirty?
I am having too much fun...
You're going to explode! with FUN!
[... 2 mins later]
He'll be back from Farley's... oh, he'll be back, all jazzed up on the coffee... I'm going to have a heart attack!
*more mumbling while flipping through a surf magazine*

I am not a TellMe system, I am actually talking to you. Retard.

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 16:43:01 GMT

Good morning, Deluxe
[hyper excited voice] HI! MAY I SPEAK TO *******, PLEASE!!!!!
*sound of touch tones as super excited girl proceeds to dial the extension anyway...*

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 05:52:05 GMT

SHMOOOOOO!
*waving arms like the blow up dudes on top of car dealerships*

[upon entering lobby from break]

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 05:51:10 GMT

So it like is really bad for the sea otters or something, it like, kills them...

BEST EVER

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 05:50:03 GMT

Good morning, Deluxe
Hi do you guys make Viagara?
I'm Sorry?
Do you um, sell Viagara or anything similar to that?
We make skateboards
Skateboards? Oh...